"They say Shad K don't treat paper that way...

cause' uh, we can't breathe if you kill them trees. Now that's a round-a-bout way that I kill MC's"




You know what I did this morning? I woke up, itched my foot, kicked my blankets off and walked over to the bathroom.

Normal right? Sounds like it.

As I was standing in the bathroom though I started thinking, almost exactly 7 months ago. None of what I had just done was possible. I wasn't able to bring my foot up in order to scratch it. I couldn't have kicked anything off anywhere. I wasn't able to stand up, let alone walk by myself without warming up to the pain in the mornings. That's insane.

I have no idea what it must be like for people who have never had use of their legs. But from the perspective of someone who was a frequent and avid user of said extremities, losing that range of movement was something that was so surreal to me. It's like it wasn't my body I was using. I could sit and think "bend your knee" but unlike Uma Thurman, that shit just wouldn't happen. I was missing the tendon that took that command and made it into an action.

I guess it's a reinforcement of the theory that you never know what you have until it's gone. Or at least you never appreciate it anyways.

I've been complaining a lot recently, there were plenty of reasons I had that my days Now A Daze weren't as good as they were beforehand. But honestly, I'm a lucky ass guy. Pat and I were talking last night about luck actually. We hang out around a lot of lucky people. People who come into money without trying, people who find steals, get jobs, houses, and other material things without trying. But then Pat pointed out that it's just a difference in lifestyles. So yeah the two of us aren't going to suddenly happen upon a small fortune, but we're still alive. Given the situations we find ourselves in at times that's a big feat.

My mind's rambling but the general theme I'm going for is that, hey, I can walk even though I was missing half my knee. I can see even though there are holes in my retina's just waiting to detach those bad boys. I can hear even though I've burst both ear drums and still have a tube in one trying to keep it together. I'm alive despite how badly some people wanted that to change at times. I can enjoy every day. I've been given that opportunity over and over (at least once every 24 hours actually) and it's probably time I start seizing those chances.

Smile. It makes the world a better place.

A Story No One Told - Shad

"So the man just arose, put his hands to the road, and began to compose the most candid of prose."



I'm a pretty open guy. Willing to talk about anything at any point during the day if someone asks. But the problem is when I want to talk about it, when I need somewhere to spill my thoughts, it's 4 am and no one is awake but me. This is the time when I wanna walk the streets and just verbally sort through my thoughts. When I want to work out the answers. And not to problems,(I don't really have those and the ones I think I do are just fallacies), but to questions.

The issue being that no one in their right mind is awake right now. People have lives that start in the mornings. So do I, but I never sleep. Not that I can't, there's just always something else I'd rather be doing. But that's besides the point.

And no blogging isn't the place to do it. I don't want to type my thoughts out, that just makes me spend more time on each individual one than necessary. I want to just flow from topic to topic, questions to answer and back to more questions and answers. I don't want to wait for my fingers to catch up and worry about whether there was an apostrophe in that "don't" or not.

I guess I can walk and talk to myself really. There's no one out at this time of night and if they are they're just as crazy as I am so talking to myself won't seem odd at all. Great plan, I'm on it.