Quick Question.

Could it be that I'm really just trying to find myself inside of you?

Could it be that I'm really trying to find myself inside of all my friends?

Ultimately we want to know as much about ourselves as possible so is that why we have friends, because we can see glimpses of ourselves in them and we're drawn towards the possibility of discovering…well, us?


Ok that was 3 questions.

Choices.

With all of everything swirling through my head
The fear, the facts, the hope, the dread
My mind races, the lights go out
From the depths of my soul, I feel the doubt
Around every corner lurks the unknown
On the edge of an abyss, completely alone
My hearts beating faster than your mind comprehends
But then, flash. It stops, and the world unbends
The pieces of the puzzle fall into place
The path to follow is clear through time and space
The cement has dried, the bricks have been laid
In this moment a decision was made

- 2003

Two Words.

Don't touch, walls wet
Graffiti artist, mind set
Express yourself, every day
Rester Brun, stay gray
Make believe, just pretend
Forgotten past, begin again
Time's now, don't delay
Your future, begins today
Love lost, knowledge gained
Always changing, never same
Your mind, your choice
Many thoughts, one voice
You understand, I know
Time spent, emotion grows
Stars glow, suns shine
Two words, twenty lines
"Live right, guard left"
On top, the best
Look back, fly straight
Don't trip, it's fate

- 2005

Rebuttal a.k.a. the 3 cup run-back.

"Maybe it's all a problem with perspective."

You know, it almost always is. I don't know why it takes so long for me to take a step back even though I've proved to myself time after time that's the best way to solve problems.

I was wrong. Again. But if you don't take the risk of being wrong then your learning experiences become very limited, but that's not what this post is about.

For the longest time now Stacy and I have been trying to force something that needed no forcing, and in doing so caused a rift through a friendship that tore pretty deep.

We were trying to move "us" somewhere.

We were trying to keep a friendship with Brittany.

We were trying to justify to ourselves why we were trying so hard.



Trying is for people who are in situations that aren't working for them. Stacy and I had a pretty damn good set up. We were friends that were only getting closer and were surrounded by some of the best family anyone could ask for. And the whole time I was stuck in such a subjective view. Influenced by the pressure from around me to move forward in life, to go somewhere, to be something more than what I am now had me putting other peoples ideals into play in my life.

it wasn't until about a half hour ago that I was able to take a step back and look at myself, the situation I'm in and the connections amongst those around me and realize that I'm actually happy with where I am. With who I am. With everyone around me as well.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that things are looking up, change is constant so it's pointless to try and make more than that which naturally occurs. With 2.4 weeks of summer done I think I can finally start to fall into the flow of this summer.